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The X-Factor....
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« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2009, 03:24:17 PM » |
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I guessed the end already dear.
I know your style and i was ready for the sad ending
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Riddhi
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« Reply #16 on: January 25, 2009, 03:51:07 PM » |
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Again Sad ending........
Very well written
Thanks for sharing.
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Riddhi
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libertyfran
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« Reply #17 on: January 26, 2009, 01:40:03 AM » |
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I admire Salma's decision to obey her father. If I were in her shoes, I will do the same thing.
We only have one biological father in our entire life and he is irreplaceable regardless of the circumstances.
There are lots of men and if one didn't seem to work in a woman's life, someone might come around again, again, and again. Any woman can replace or breakup with a husband if unhappy or unsatisfied with the relationship ....... no strings attached!
"Kudos" to Shah for his wonderful story. Although fictional (I think so), it protrays a situation where it could happen to somebody else in real life.
Love is just a part of our life so we have to understand that it is a challenge that we have to face or endure if the relationship doesn't work out. If things don't happen the way we expected it to be, just let go, move on and look forward for another opportunity to meet or find the right partner of your dreams.
Time will foretell, eventually.
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« Last Edit: January 26, 2009, 03:03:53 AM by libertyfran »
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ρяєттιиα נєяι
Super Star
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Posts: 1551
*Why, being loved, is poor?*
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« Reply #18 on: January 28, 2009, 04:50:01 PM » |
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Dear shah,
Reading ur story reminds me of a southindian film kadhal(which means LOVE)
the guy is a mechanic while the girl is a studying student
And they both fall in love and elope and get married
She is very rich and the guy is poor and of low caste
A relative comnes in search of them and says that we will make u live ur life return home
and takes them home and then they beat both of them and tell the gal to remove her mangalsuthra or thaali
( the groom gives the bride a gold pendant or necklace incorporating black beads or yellow string.
This is called a mangal-sutra.)
If mangalsuthra is removed from a girls neck It indicates that he is dead or has no relationship with him.
otherwise we will kill him
so she throws that mangalsuthra so they wil leave him alive
he takes that mangalsuthra and ties in his hand
And many years after she waits at a signal she sees a mad man
Ans she feels pity then she sees the man he still has the mangalsuthra in his hand
And a horrible beared dirty man he looks
She recognises him and start crying like hell when she notices her name Aishwarya tatooed in his chest
She faints she is then taken to hosp
her husband is such a gud person who takes him to the rehabilitation center and till date they care him like their
child
This is a true incident which was featured as a film
this story was told by Aishwaryas husband to the director in a train journey
I dont know wheather ur story is true but a awesome one but really paining a lot hearing the sad ending.
Depecting the true world and love
My favorite quote :LOVE NEVER FAILS BUT LOVERS FAIL
Wonderful story.
give ur pen sum more work.
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« Last Edit: January 28, 2009, 05:02:27 PM by Jeri »
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 ~*I'm Not A Complicated Woman; I'm Just Good At Complicating Things.*~ |
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asmakhan
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~~~ Miss You Always~~~~~
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« Reply #19 on: January 28, 2009, 05:47:16 PM » |
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A very very very good story shah i appriciate your imagenation.
i Liked it
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KEEP SMILING
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i wonder!
Super Star
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Posts: 1987
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« Reply #20 on: January 29, 2009, 12:12:16 AM » |
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'Tis indeed a pleasure to read your creation after quite a long time....so atlast you let your fountain of imagination to flow into a grandeur!! you have weaved a wonderful story......all parts well knit...each not loosing d essence of d other!!...gud job...kudoz shah!!
read d story from first till last.....amazing.....your writing style can alwayz b identified by itz lucidity n elegant narration....so is dis one.....'SALMA N ASLAM'.......apt n meaningful title.....well thought out!!
the way u had opened d story n d way u had decided to conclude it.......d narration style, treatment n tone is just superb...however d ending is something near to wot i anticipated....somewot cinematic....felt like watching a cinema!!.....d presentation of a simple subject in a more lively manner paying attention to even d minute details of day-to-day life....itz a commendable wok dear!!
Felt dat you have lived as those 2 characterz itself ....specially as dat of Aslam.....felt that aslam was more U specially at a place when he says to salma that he loves long hair n asks her never to cut it...!! d places u have chosen as d backdrop for d story...d bus travel....d long hair...all reminded me of 'in d bus a girl'... ur own creation sometime back!!
every minute detail was addressed to....very descriptive, graceful n down-to-earth narration....think datz ur forte`. you have a keen (observation) eye !!... as a story teller, you know d art of story telling....to hold d readerz captive till d end in d magical spell of ur wordz....!!
relished reading dis story as much as you may have relished writing it! thanx for dis wonderful share!
wish you wear dis writer's hat alwayz n may ur penchant for story telling take u placez in d writerz world!!
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When the going gets tough, the tough gets going !!
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ekkai
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« Reply #21 on: January 29, 2009, 01:30:26 AM » |
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Dear Shah,
very fantastic end... like Laila Majnu,
please keep move ur pen.
with best wishes........
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shah khan
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« Reply #22 on: January 29, 2009, 05:37:43 AM » |
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well my dear lovely friends readers of this story,
before i reply you all, i wish to tell you some words about the characters
which are portrayed in this story as i see there have been many questions
among the replies from most of you lovely readers.
Well the man who roams the streets of Phoenix in beard REALLY DOES EXIST!
HE IS IN FACT THE SOURCE OF INSPIRATION OF MY STORY. HE INSPIRED ME A LOT
TO WRITE THIS STORY.... I KNOW HIM SINCE MORE THAN 10 YEARS AGO... HE IS ALWAYS SEEN LIKE THAT
AND HE ALWAYS ASKS FOR CIGARETTES, I HAVE OFTEN OFFERED HIM CIGARETTES MYSELF....
HE KEEPS ON REPEATING 'CIGARETTES, CIGARETTES, CIGARETTES' WHICH MADE MY MAKE MY CHARACTER REPEAT THE NAME OF HIS BELOVED!
THIS MAN, WHO HE IS, WHERE HE COMES FROM, NOBODY KNOWS..... HE HAS NO HOMES, NO RELATIVES... NOBODY KNOWS HIM......
FRIENDS WHO KNOW MY STORY "I LOVE YOU MY ANGEL" WHICH IS ALL THE TRUTH AND FACTS OF MY LIFE, SO WHAT I DID IS I MIXED SOME PARTS OF MY PERSONAL FEELINGS I HAD AT THAT TIME WHEN I WROTE, CREATED THIS STORY.... I BELIEVED THAT IF THIS MAN IS IN THAT STATE IT CAN VERY WELL BE THAT HE LOVED SOMEONE AND TURNED MAD BY LOSING HER!! THIS IS WHAT I DID TO GET MY STORY WRITTEN!
ALL THE TRAVELLING BY BUS, THE CONVERSATIONS WERE ALL IMAGINATIVE... THAT NEVER HAPPENED!
THE CHARACTER VIVEK, SANJANA AND ALL OTHERS NEVER EXISTED! ALL WERE IMAGINATIVE!..... I CREATED CHARACTERS TO BEFIT MY STORY AND I HAD IN MIND ONLY THIS MAN WHO ROAMED IN THE STREETS! IN FACT I CONSIDER HIM THE BACKBONE OF MY STORY....... WITHOUT HIM, I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN INSPIRED TO WRITE IT. SO HE IS MY MAIN, LIVING CHARACTER!!
ALL THE REST IN THE STORY ARE FICTION!
THANKS DEARS FOR YOUR SUPPORTS.
I WILL THANK ALL INDIVIDUALLY SOON.
I AM EXPECTING SOME MORE REPLIES FROM FRIENDS WHO HAVE NOT YET READ IT.
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Nish
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Happiness is not a goal, but a way of life.
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« Reply #23 on: January 29, 2009, 02:52:42 PM » |
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very well written shah....
i literally cried while reading this wonderful story....
keep posting...
all the best
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Meenalochani
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« Reply #24 on: January 30, 2009, 03:41:46 PM » |
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well done Shah! after the first part, i read all the rest at one go and it is a wonderful short story with a nice , unexpected end. reading all togetner gives a heady feeling. keep up the good work.
Blessings. Usha
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naizah
Newbie
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« Reply #25 on: January 30, 2009, 07:13:50 PM » |
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really sad that should not happen with the 2 lover
thats y i say you should not take too many time to express your love
sothat you can lose her
ITS REALLY HURT my heart cried a lot while reading it  
THANKS
NICE STORY
SHAH.
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naiz
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shah khan
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« Reply #26 on: January 31, 2009, 05:44:45 AM » |
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Thank you very much Mallika for being the first to end the reading
and for your appreciation dear
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shah khan
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« Reply #27 on: February 02, 2009, 05:07:16 AM » |
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This shouldn't happen with him.
So, let me conclude it was really a Nice Story
Keep Posting
THANK YOU ANGELINA FOR LIKING THE STORY
AND FINDING IT NICE |
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shah khan
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« Reply #28 on: February 02, 2009, 05:08:15 AM » |
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nice shah, but i didn't expect these kind of ending
nice story
THANK YOU rOHINI FOR LIKING IT THOUGH YOU DID NOT EXPECT THE END |
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Fareeha
Super Star
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« Reply #29 on: February 03, 2009, 03:18:01 AM » |
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Really great one Sha. Ur imaginations are superb... It was like a thing which happened in real life.. But the ending is really sad. Keep on writing more & more... Love to read ur stories... |
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Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness,sympathy & understanding.
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